Buffy rewritten by Ayn Rand

from The Toast:

BUFFY: The only real Hell is not taking advantage of every opportunity.

DAWN: I’m so scared.

BUFFY: There’s nothing to be afraid of. Another dimension means an entirely different set of markets, an entirely different economic playing field. The chance to make and win our fortune in strange and exotic trading floors.

DAWN: Aren’t you at least going to untie me?

BUFFY: That would be an act of violence disguised as an act of mercy.

DAWN: What does that mean?


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